Hi *peeks out of the rock I’ve been under for a year*
It’s been a while huh? Yeah I’m not proud of my ghosting skills on this blog but if I was to be perfectly honest with you guys, I just didn’t want to write anything. Shocking for someone who considers her only forte to be writing. Although if you were to look through my posts, you’d probably disagree given the amount of slang and profanity I drop in.
Back to the point, one of 2017’s goals, (yes I made some like an irresponsible adult), is to resurrect this blog from the dead. Over the last year? Yes a year, I’ve tried to slowly ease my way back into it but it was a totally flop because I had no inspiration, didn’t really want to write anything unless I forced it out and at the time I wasn’t even watching Kdramas. I mean I was still hopping around Kpop but Kdramas were non-existent for a while.
Partially I think it may have had to do with my whole journey of trying to figure what I’m doing in life. I don’t regret starting this blog at all, in fact was obsessed with it when I initially started. Along the way however I lost my excitement and forgot why I started it to begin with. Medical issues on top of my lost state probably weren’t helping my situation.
I’m still lost by the way. Haven’t really figured that part of life yet but I did find one thing. I think it was an article I read a long time ago by one of my favourite motivational blogs, (who you should all follow because it showed me how much of a b*tch I was being). It was to do with finding your passion and I’m also subscribed to their consequent channels. When talking about this bullsh*t called ‘passion’, they mention it’s not something you suddenly wake up and find or something you’re talented at. ‘Passion’ isn’t something you find but it finds you- it takes ages and if you don’t even know yourself well then you’re never going to find what you’re ‘passion’ is.
First of all, the me of 2k15/16 was looking at that like nah fam, my passion is Kpop/Kdrama. It’s the one thing I know. So I was sitting their confused because I ‘knew’ what my passion was, so why am I not ‘on it’ like I thought I would be when I find ‘it’. Again I was stupid because I didn’t focus on their main point- “What you do will always change. Why you do things doesn’t.”
Well I lie- I did see the phrase but at the time was a bit blinded by the anxiety and pressures of being lost to really take into account. I’m not gonna go into everything in detail but here’s what I took from it after a year and a half of mental breakdowns, hysteria to the point that now I look at my life and just laugh at the hilariousness of where it is.
I like Kpop/Kdrama, yeah. But that’s not the reason why I started my blog or my YouTube channel. Why I started them was because I just wanted to create things. That was so vague but what I mean is those times were I push through even though I can feel my crack burning in half from the constipation is when I’m creating any sort of imaginative content, especially those that tell a story. Kpop/Kdrama and whatever are just interests that let me do that- whether it’s creating videos/stories/opinion posts blah blah. (Hence the ‘what you do’ from the aforementioned) I’m not sure how I’m linking this with my blog but yeah I just wanted to share my revelation after 2 years with you.
Bringing it to back what I was supposed to be telling you guys, I’m not closing this blog, I’m just going to change the things I do here. Feel like I’ve said that too many times here but let’s hope it sticks this time round haha~
Still going to be doing Kdrama reviews because I love to rant and fan girl, Kpop I’d probably sprinkle here and there but I will be keeping that mainly to my YouTube. I also have other things I’d like to incorporate too like my Korean learning journey! Because I cannot find a flipping study buddy and I’m a loner with no one to discuss this ish with so I come to the internet 😉
Hopefully I stay on track this year but we will see how that goes but until then look forward to more content~